I went home alone that evening, had a nice soak in the bath and went to bed but was awaken with more intense pains in the early hours but remember thinking it’s still too early and focussing on the 13th (it was only a few days away). I tried to get back to sleep but it was useless so had a pretty restless night up and down to the loo… I called the hospital in the morning and they said I should go in to be checked as it sounds like I am in labour so I called my mum to come collect me.
My 1st trip to the hospital (10 am 10-3-13)…
This turned out to be a short stay, they checked me over in triage and told me I was only 1cm dilated so said to go home and get some rest as I hadn’t had that much sleep in the last 24 hours. My mum and sister said I needed to go and stay with them rather than go back home and be alone. That afternoon we had a freak snow storm and the were news of people getting stuck on the M23/A23, people abandoning their cars as they could not move and cars sliding and smashing into each other. Obviously being in labour while this was all going on was a little unnerving but my mum had a 4 by 4 so I was sure I would be able to get to the hospital. That night we had a nice curry but I wasn’t able to sleep, the contractions were getting more intense, I was up and down to the toilet near on every hour… every time I looked out the window the snow was getting deeper but I still remained as calm. The next morning I called the hospital and they said to come in again as it sounds like I have progressed a lot… so off we go again!
My 2nd trip to the hospital (12pm 12-3-13)…
My mum, sister and I arrived at the hospital at about midday, they sent me straight to the labour ward bypassing triage. The nurse came in and checked me over, she said I was 4cm dilated but my contractions are not close enough so she told me to go home and get some rest, she said it could be another day yet! So AGAIN we loaded all my bits up in the car and went back home to my mums… the pain had definitely increased so I decided to take a paracetamol and went down to rest but my body had another idea and I was wide awake, what I found out after was that the tabs I had taken had caffeine in… no wonder I couldn’t sleep! The contractions were getting stronger… I think I managed to shut my eyes for all of about 15 mins and then the bigger one woke me up, this one was by far the most intense I had so far so I went down stairs to my mum at about 4.30pm and said I think it’s time as the contractions were very close. Thank god for heat lotion being rubbed in my back by my sister, this got me through the worse of my pain throughout my whole labour.
My 3rd and final trip to the hospital (6pm 12-3-13)…
So my mum, my sister and myself got to the hospital… I also called for my friend Nikki to come and she was my 2nd birthing partner (she was also studying to be a midwife). My mum was supposed to be in Dubai when he was due on the 26-3-13 so she was never supposed to be at the birth but I was glad she was there as don’t know what I would have done without her and my sister. They asked me straight away if I would like to go to into the pool at around 7pm and as this was my first choice so I said yes please (so happy it was available).
Being in the pool was lovely, my contractions were getting stronger but the water was so calming. I focussed on long deep breaths through the nose to get me through the pain and was meditating and doing some Reiki on myself while listening to classical music on the stereo… this was the setting I had envisages! From time to time I would get out of the pool to have a walk around while my sister rubbed heat lotion in my back to get me through the contractions. We were having such a laugh too… one of the nurses who looked after me when I was hospital at 34 weeks popped in, she said I could tell that laugh a mile off, I can’t for the life of me remember her name.
I wanted to have as natural birth as possible without any intervention but needed have a pain-killer as the contractions were getting more intense. The midwife got me out of the pool to check me over at 11pm and she said I was 8cm dilated but she said I had a massive ball of water holding babies head up, she asked me if I wanted to break the waters and I said no as I wanted to it to progress naturally so I got back into the water. At midnight I asked if I could have the waters broken… I was mindful that it was NOW the 13-3-13 (the day I wanted him to be born) and I wanted him to come at 3:13am so I need to move things on if he’s going to come at that time.
I can remember the midwife leaving for her break and another one coming in… I didn’t like her energy and I was in a lot of pain by then, I asked her for some gas and air and she said I am too far along to have some (maybe I should have listened). I can remember my mum and friend sitting at the other end of the pool saying they could see me dilating but I told then to get to the other end as they are not helping and I suddenly felt quite exposed. When the other midwife returned I asked her for some G&A and she got some for me as could see my pain threshold had lowered (to this day I wish I never had the G&A because I lost focus and lost touch with my bodies natural rhythm). I remember telling her that I felt like I wanted to poo and it was burning… I was so out of it by then, really not sure what I was doing and remember asking the midwife if I was doing it all wrong but she wasn’t that responsive. She said I needed to get out of the pool so she could check me but by that time, I was out of my head on G&A and after pretty much no sleep in 4 days I was exhausted to say the least… they struggled to get me out of the pool (took all of them) and onto the mat on my back. She put her fingers in and felt the head of the baby so quickly turned me over onto the ball and out popped my baby… quite literally… he shot out, not head then body but all of his at once. He wasn’t breathing… I can’t remember much but they took him away to help him breath, it took them 5 breaths instead of the normal 3 to get him breathing again but they did it. They brought him to me crying he looked like his dad in this moment (this is another story) which shocked me a little if I am totally honest. Everyone tells you about that instant unconditional love you have with your child when you see them for the first time and that was exactly what I got… even though I was exhausted the endorphins had well and truly kicked in… I couldn’t stop looking at this amazing thing I had grown in my belly… I was in love!
My miracle baby 13-3-13 lucky for me!
He was born on the day I wanted 13-3-13 (actually 13 days before his due date) at 4:14am and weighed a small 6.13lbs. Now you are probably thinking, I got the day right but the rest didn’t match… I have since gone to do my ‘Birthing Stories’ at the hospital and gone through my delivery notes… I told my story to the midwife and she was amazed. I said that I know he could have come earlier at the time I wanted and was sure that the reason why he needed so much help was because he had been waiting in the birth canal for too long. She said that in my notes at 2:12am you said you felt burning… if I had have been encouraged to push by the midwife then there is a great chance he could have been born at 3:13am and she agreed that may have been the reason why he was so distressed… she was gob smacked to be honest! It really made me feel at peace with his birth and reinstated my believe in what you believe you can conceive!
With regards to his weight… To be honest I hadn’t focussed on it (so I didn’t get it) plus I was massive so thought I was having a big baby but it was all water ?
The power of the mind, intentions and believe rolled into one can and will make miracle happen.
After he was born I was taken to the other room where my mum and sister dressed Jesse (god he’s got some lungs on him) then the midwife came and attached him to my boob. I fell asleep and woke to find I was bleeding… I was sore and really didn’t know what to do. The doctors then came in to stitch me up which I found very impersonal… when it was done they left me, I felt lost… the after care was not great at the hospital, they left me in that room not near a buzzer so I was shouting to people to come and help me… they said they would take me down to post natal so I could settle in and get some rest but nobody came again needed to shout, I was exhausted and needed to rest with my little man after 4 days of hardly no sleep.
Eventually they came and moved me (my cousin was there to help) at last I was able to try to get some rest. I struggled with breastfeeding because my nipple was sore after they left him on my boob… I didn’t get much support with this, they said I was doing ok but I was too tired to really know what I was doing. I couldn’t really rest or sleep because I just wanted to ogle him and I stirred every time he moved… I stayed in one night and was allowed to go home the next day, all I wanted to do was get him home with my boy.
To wrap up…
By understanding the power of the mind and practicing intention and belief you can really create anything you want in life… when you stay centered and focus on the breath through meditation it can help you overcome almost any situation calmly. I am happy to help anyone with this… This can be applied to any area of your life.
I highly recommend to anyone who is confused about what happened at their birth to contact the hospital and ask them about Birthing Stories as it’s a way to feed back into the system so changed can be made where applicable and can also keep things that are working.
My second blog: Intuition and Energy…
I always said that Jesse would be here to test me but what happened 3 days later would turn my life upside down… To find out what happens next and why Jesse ended up in the hospital please head to